Perfection is just another excuse.

Another important-sounding ‘reason’ to not get on with living the life you dream of.

It’s not serving us, so we might as well get busy chucking it.

I know it’s harsh, and there is probably a tiny voice in the back of your head whispering, But – wait! It’s not all bad . . .

Yes. Yes it is.

Perfectionism is a sneaky-pete. Secretly, we all think it’s actually a good thing, right? One of those qualities we’ll proudly display in a job interview as our so-called worst trait.

When really, we’re giving the interviewer a silent wink of understanding.

Pretending to be ashamed of our perfectionism is a way of speaking between the lines, a dogwhistle salute to the cult of busy.

So how bout we just stop that. Seriously. Right now.

As a type-A high-achiever, this one was drilled into me from a young age. From a special program for ‘gifted’ kids at only 12, to finishing university at 21 – having paid for it completely on my own, zero debt and no help from my parents.

I walked the perfectionism talk, even as I was outwardly a rebel – getting an art degree instead of something practical.

I thought I’d done something brave by doing something unconventional and following my heart, and I had, I guess, but mostly I’d just wrapped perfectionism up in punk-rock clothing.

I would have gleaned so much more from the experience of art school if I’d chucked my pursuit of perfection, given way fewer fucks and been brave enough to show up imperfectly.

I had glimpses of it, moments when I was so fed up I just couldn’t do or say what was expected anymore – and man oh man. I created my best work in those moments of complete abandon.

It makes me wonder, what if we could show up like that in our lives?

What if, instead of over-thinking, over-analyzing, sanitizing and filtering ourselves for other’s comfortable consumption, what if we got messy and free?

The older I get, the more I’m convinced that this ability to show up – raw, unfiltered, vulnerable, whole, imperfect . . . it is THE key to a big, juicy life of purpose, joy and meaning.

There’s something of my punk-rock youthful rebellion in that, too.

To reject the idea that we ought to aim for perfection, that’s an act of rebellion.

It’s rebellious because in order to do so, we must accept ourselves as we are.

CHOOSING to love ourselves as we are, imperfectly, right now – not tomorrow, not once we’ve lost the weight, not once we’ve got the education we think we need, not once we’ve gotten the job or hit the six figure salary…

Now. Today. THAT is an act of rebellion.

You don’t need to buy or be anything different in order to embrace imperfection. You simply have to decide.

Choose to love yourself in all your imperfect, messy glory. Then keep choosing to love yourself, every damn day.

How do we do it? How do we start rejecting the pursuit of perfection?

I get it. It can feel impossible. Like a stone that will not shift.

You can do it. You start slow. (Obvi.)

• Start by recognizing that perfectionism is a great big fat jerk who needs the heave-ho.
• Get up close and personal with your internal critic. Get to know her. She’s driving the bus of perfection 9 times out of 10. If you can find compassion for her and see her as a smaller, younger, scared-shitless version of yourself, rather than some big bad monster, you’ll let the air out of her tires.
• Short circuit the perfectionism habit – set tiny goals ( I mean really, really tiny ) that you can actually finish – consistently on a regular basis. Perfectionism will sideline us one of two ways – by convincing us we can’t do a thing perfectly, so we shouldn’t even start OR by telling us we have to do it in a great, big, overwhelming fashion that we’ll be sure to fail at. We avoid both by doing something counter-intuitive – aim LOW.
• Decide. Just decide. I know that sounds . . . silly? Flippant? Overly-simplified? But really, that’s all it takes. You can wake up one morning and simply decide that you are enough as you are. That you will do your best, keep learning and growing, and it won’t be perfect – it won’t ever be perfect – but it will be enough.
• Give yourself grace. Transforming that little voice in your head is hard work. Sometimes it’s a knock-down drag out battle, one you won’t always win. That’s OK. Be gentle with yourself.

What would your life look like if you stopped wasting your precious energy and attention on the pursuit of perfection?

What might you see, do, be?

Would you put on your bathing suit and spend the day at the beach with your little kids? Would you start that project you’ve had on your heart for ages, but perfectionism told you you couldn’t manage? Would you finish the project that’s been collecting dust because you’ve been afraid of what people will say if you let it see the light?

What opportunities have passed you by because you allowed perfectionism to make you play small?

How much bigger, juicier, more purposeful and delicious would your life be without perfection?

Share in the comments below one delicious adventure (big or small) you would take if it weren’t for perfectionism.